There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
