i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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