were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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