We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize