Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
