guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My liver just had a heart attack.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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