Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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