Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
