spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
