i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
