He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
