no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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