you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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