and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
