I am in a vortex of obligation.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Are we still banned from the library?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
