I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
