I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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