No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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