Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
