there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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