I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize