Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
