the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
