We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
