I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
