We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
