I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
