They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
