A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
