My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
