what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
