we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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