I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You were trust falling into bushes
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