I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
