I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
