some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
