i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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