I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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