I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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