I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
