think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
