what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
