Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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