weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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