he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
