just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
