how can u be prego again
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
