dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
