I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
