its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
