like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize