Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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