let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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