Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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