What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
