Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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