Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
