it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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