Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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