I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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