how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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