You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize