Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
