Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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